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#badassmom thoughts

Ain’t No Mama Like the One I Got

In honor of Mothers Day, I want to share just a wee bit about my mom. I have mentioned her in some of my previous posts, and will continue to mention and highlight her for as long as I walk this earth. She is the OG Mama Dee, and there just ain’t no mama like the one I got.

She is a freaking ray of sunshine that brings laughter, realness and hope to any room she enters. She exudes confidence and has really pretty pink hair.

My mom is my best friend in this whole wide world. No one else comes close to comparing to her level of commitment, dedication and support she has offered to me in this life.

It wasn’t always easy, I was a terror of a daughter- I tried so hard to push my family away. I did what I wanted, when I wanted. I held on tight to the idea I was right, and no one could tell me differently. My Mom never gave up. She never pushed me out the door. She let me fail. She loved me and showed up for me and never, ever shamed me or gave up on me.

My Mom is one of those #badassmoms. She taught me to be a leader. To be unapologetically me- to not conform or give in to shitty opinions and ideas, she ALWAYS encouraged me to find my own path. At times finding my own way has been difficult, lonely and uncomfortable. My Mom has always been by my side. Even when I fuck up, she’s here, ready to lift me up and try again. Ready to hold my hand and show me how adulting is done. Ready to care for my children when I need help. Ready to listen when I finally open up. She’s always here.

My Mom taught me a lot of things. Ever since I can remember my Mom has been the biggest Cleveland Browns fan I’ve ever met. Her loyalty to the team was somewhat concerning. My whole life I knew from September- December not to ask for shit on Sundays because she was usually in a bad mood due to a Browns loss. It never, ever stopped her from looking forward to the game, getting us all dressed in Browns gear and making a bunch of good football food. And they would lose. Year after year it happened. She taught me about loyalty. We don’t give up hope just because they’re losing.

Every week.

She taught me we love them for them- the bad, the unorganized, the comical, the sometimes surprisingly good. My Moms love is unconditional. I always knew her love for Cleveland football was unconditional, and as I came to realize her faithfulness stretches across the board.

My Mom is loyal AF. Like road dawgs, ride or die she is in it til the wheels fall off and roll away. She has been married to my Dad for 27 years. The shit I’ve seen them go though (put them through) are things I, myself cannot imagine experiencing as a parent. My brother and I have experienced some pretty tough events, and my Mom (and Dad) were there through it all. They always show up.

My Mom not only shows up for me- but her friends. Her love for her people is something I admire, she has so many strong women in her life that support her, that share with her and love her as much as she loves them.

When I told my Mom I was pregnant, I was single at the age of 19. I lived with my parents still, and lived a carefree lifestyle, I was not exactly ready for a baby. Her response was “I’m too young to be a grandma.” I smile when I think about the conversation, because I can picture it perfectly, although it was 8 years ago.

This is the shit she used to dress us in.

We were in my old room. I wish I had a picture, but I’ll briefly describe it for you. It was about 11′ x12′. There was old wood paneling that had been painted over. Each panel was a different bright color. The ceiling had tile on it, and each tile was a different color.

Walking into my old room would give anyone anxiety, it felt like walking into a circus tent. There were “plants” drawn on the walls and at one point I drew the Cleveland skyline with dollar signs raining down in the sky. It was absolutely nuts. But that’s the point. My Mom let me express myself no matter how completely ridiculous I was. She wanted me to find my own path.

Back to her being a Grandma. I lived with my parents at the time. My cat (RIP Action MF Jackson ILYSM) was my best friend. My Mom was there for me, and came to every doctor appointment I asked her to. She was there when I got the news I was having a boy- we cried tears of joy together that I was not going to have a miniature female version of myself. My parents remodeled their house so that I could be comfortable with my new baby. They ripped out that wood paneling and she gave me an adult room, and a nursery for their new grandson.

My Mom was the one standing next to me, holding my hand as I brought my baby into this world. The word Grandma was a bit harsh for her, as she was (is) still a young, hot, 40something year old. We went with Bia. As in BIA BIAAAAAA. Yes, the Lil John song. Whatever, hate on it or don’t. But my Bia rocks. She is the fucking sun in my life.

I have seen her work through her own troubles, heartaches and come out on the other side stronger, wiser and more beautiful than ever before.

A couple years ago, my Mom and I went skydiving. She gets queasy standing on the second story of a balcony, but this B jumped out of a plane at 9,000 feet. We did it together, I was super hyped and into it, she was like really scared and second guessing herself. But she did it. We did it. She’s such a badass I can’t say it enough.

When I think of strong women- I think my mom. When I think of bad bitches- I think my Mom. When I think of cool sock collections- I think of my Mom. When I think of unconditional love- I think of my Mom. When I think of orange converse- I think my mom.

She is what I aspire to be as a mother. Loyal, loving and hopeful. If I can show up for, and support my kids the way my Mom has, and continues to do for me- I have no doubt I will be one of those #badassmoms like her. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Not only on the inside, but the outside too. I look just like her and people often mistake us for sisters. She is so pretty and I look JUST like her 🙂

Sometimes I hear other people talk about their Moms, and I feel so blessed that My Mom is mine. And she’s my best friend. And shes the best Bia ever. And shes cool AF. And shes probably crying reading this.

I love my Mom more than I can type in this post, but I wanted to share with the whole internet world just how much she means to me, and how grateful I am that I have the Mom of the Year.

She used to joke when she made a mistake saying, “I guess there goes my Mom of the year award.” which is funny, because she fucked up a lot. I get my potty mouth from my Mom. I get my stubbornness from my Mom. I get my perpetual lateness from my Mom. I am super sassy because of my Mom. But she also gave me some really positive things.

She fucked up giving us these haircuts.

I get my sense of humor from my Mom. I get my IDGAF attitude from my Mom. I get my love of thrifting and style from my Mom. I got this good hair from my Mom. Most of all- I have an internal feeling of hope, from my Mom.

I have watched this woman for the last 27 years overcome everything and come out stronger, smarter and more willing to follow the paths the Universe lays out for her. She is a freakin superhero and this year I give her the highly sought after Mother of the Year Award.


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#badassmom

Mothers Day Gifts: the sh*t she really wants

I have compiled a list of mothers day gifts for those of us lucky enough to have our mothers around. My mom is one of those super bad ass moms that not only birthed me, raised me and loved me- she continues to be my number one fan in life. She supports me and my family more than I can even describe into words.


As a mother myself, I approve every single one of these Mothers Day gifts. LOOKING AT YOU, FAMILY. While I appreciate the pinky ring my son purchased for me, (still sporting the $1 price tag,) it does not actually fit on my pudgy finger. I love it and keep it in safe keeping, and will cherish it for the next 50 years. So now that I have such a heartfelt trinket, as your mother also probably does- heres the shit moms really want.

The sh*t we really want

Subscription box

We’re not talking jam of the month. Im saying wine of the month for the lady who likes to throw them back. Try IPSY for make-up lovers, or Fab Fit Fun for moms who love a little bit of everything. I reviewed the IPSY GLAM BAG for April 2019- see it here. They even have snack subscriptions for people with dietary restrictions. Is she KETO AF? Try Keto Crate. Is she gluten free? Try Urthbox.

Why celebrate Mom the for one day when you can celebrate her one day every month? Bring a smile to her pretty face each month when she opens the mailbox and receives a gift. I did this for my parents a few years ago when my parents were newly on the keto diet with a keto crate. They were sent snacks to try every month and they appreciated the unconventional gift idea. I think this would make a great Mothers Day gift.


Car detailing

If your moms anything like mine she has empty DP bottles floating around in her car. There’s also probably mud and old fruit snacks from my kids. Since you can’t afford to call XHIBIT and PIMP THAT RIDE, a certificate for a detailing will probably do. Groupon typically has some great deals, as well as people in your community with a small business. Strapped for cash? Just be child of the year and get out there and do that shit for her!

Write a poem

Its super cheezy and you’re gonna feel lame doing it, but i promise your mom is gonna cry. Not the kind of cry like she did the first (or second) time you got arrested, but like the time she realized she raised a thoughtful and (semi) responsible adult.

If you’re not so good with words, try a handmade card. I recently purchased a Cricut and had high hopes of making beautiful cards for Mothers Day. Once out of my manic state, I realized fancy cutting machines are not for me, so I returned it to get my $250 back. I then spent $7 on card stock and pretty stickers. My mom likes innappropriate humor so I’m gonna make something funny. She’s gonna love it.


Shutterfly photo gifts

Try a puzzle with a picture of something cool, plaques, mugs the super basic stuff. I make my mom puzzles every year with cool scenery photos from something special that year. Last year she went on an anniversary trip with my dad and had a bunch of beautiful sunset photos from Punta Cana. I went through Shutterfly and made a puzzle that ended up being extremely difficult to put together. My mom loved it, and we got to spend 7 hours working on it together.


Amazon Prime subscription

If she still runs to the store for batteries or paper towels this is what you get her. Let me tell you, as a mother of 3 boys, I am always running out of necessities, and our Amazon Prime membership is something that we value in our home. Did you know? You can even add accounts onto your prime, it may be worth investigating if you know she’s always strapped for time. Give her the gift of time with prime. See what I did there?

Your time

Speaking of time- how about some of yours. Your mom loves you. And she misses you. And she wants to spend time with you. Whether this is tickets to a comedy show or a play she has always wanted to see, or a pottery or calligraphy class, make it a date type thing. Go grab coffee or dinner and just be present. Check Groupon or your local church or community center. They’re always offering classes to check out, and they can be fairly inexpensive. My mom and I love to go thrifting, we can spend hours looking for scores. Hang out with your mom for a day and I bet she smiles.

Spa day

The only thing mom loves more than spending time with you- is spending time alone. This mostly applies to those of us who are constantly wiping butts and don’t get out much. I love my kids so much, and I think I am a better mother when I miss them just a wee bit. A trip to the salon, or a massage can be that self care time we need to feel refreshed.

As a hairstylist myself, I can confidently say that your Mom loves going to get pampered. To come into a salon, and not have to care for anyone other than herself is such a treat. The woman in your life deserves this time to herself. A relaxation massage, a moisturizing pedicure, or haircolor to brighten up her look. These services are geared at making women feel f*cking fabulous.

Clean house

The number one thing moms want: a clean house. Whether you pay a company to do this or cut out little coupons like you did when you were 7. this. is. the. gift. OKUURRRT

bad ass mothers day gift ideas

I hope you got some good ideas for Mothers Day gifts this year. It really is the shit we want (still looking at you, family.) Do you do Mothers Day gifts for your mom? Do you do them for your wife? Share below in the comments what you’re planning on this year.

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#badassmom thoughts

Hugging Meditation: Give a meaningful hug

Today, I will remind myself, and you of nice little meditation that is simple, effective, and only takes a few moments. Hugging meditation, made famous by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, is rooted in the belief that a good hug can have transformative effects, making us happier.

Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links. Meaning, if you click through and make a purchase, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Have you felt the deep connection a hug can spark? Try this hugging meditation.

I know, you already know how to hug, but do you fully experience the moment you are embraced with someone? Your child or your partner, your mother or father?


I was introduced to this meditation a couple years ago by my partner, he has a large collection of meditation books, and one of his favorite authors is Thich Nhat Hanh. We practice this hugging meditation on a pretty regular basis during times of chaos and of pure joy. There’s always time for a hug.

The first time we practiced this, I’ll admit it was a bit odd. Not unpleasant at all, it was just different. Here’s how it went.


When he approached me for a hug, I gladly embraced, but something was different. He didn’t let go. I felt the strong, yet gentle embrace of someone I loved. His chest was slowly taking deep breaths that my own chest started to mimic. I felt warmth and gratitude for the moment I didn’t even know was purposeful. When we parted, we were both calm, sharing how good a mindful hug can feel, if only for 3 deep breaths. It truly was a deep, intimate, relaxed feeling.


If you want to try this at home with your loved ones, here’s how.


It is suggested that before the embrace, we take a few deep breaths to ourself, to fully center us and be in the present moment. We embrace, and hold the other person in our arms for three deep breaths.


It’s recommended that the first breath should be dedicated to you honoring your presence in the moment. The second breath should honor the other person, while the final breath should be focused on feeling happy and grateful for your togetherness.


This is a small, powerful way to connect, and bring forth happiness, gratitude, and focus.


I practice this with my children on a daily basis, once I read we should never be the first to let go in a hug with our children, for they are seeking comfort and warmth when we are embraced. To be fully present in the moment we are wrapped up with our children is such a beautiful thing. I love this, and I always hold on a little longer.


Now get out there and give all the hugs! Who knows, you may find something like serendipity while you’re at it.


Here are a few of our other favorite meditation books, Notes From The Song of Life being my absolute favorite book I’ve ever picked up.

hugging meditation, giving a meaningful embrace

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