A great attempt at making sense of this life. Trying to find balance in the day to day and navigate adulthood while constantly thinking, how did I get here?
I am investing in myself. I am full of creativity and ideas and love. As I am officially in my late twenties trying to navigate motherhood and partnership, a shred of a social life, and make time to tend to my creative spark. I will reflect on my days and weeks with purpose and gratitude, I will allow myself to create and love without boundaries.
When I sit here and reflect, just how did this become my life- how I have 3 miniature humans whom are each in their own way tiny sass-ass versions of Jess. They are wild and rambunctious, emotional and loud, and most of the time they love me almost as much as I love them.
How I have a partner who has stood by me and supported me in every weird endeavor I become obsessed with (I purchased this domain for 1 year, we will see how it goes) and loves me, neck tat and all. We used to say the “universe shifted” the first day we held hands in his car, leaving a cemetary after pulling an all nighter and drinking copious amounts of red bull and laughing way harder than I had ever before. One of these days I’m going to write it all out, the love story that is ours, the beautiful early days that when I was living in them felt soft and full to the dark times where I thought what the fuck is life and why the fuck does it hurt so bad? Yet, one day in June 2013 the universe shifted to give us this bright life, one filled with meaning and purpose and so much love- it was something like serendipity.
As the years have passed by I have had many, many moments that i think back to that word- serendipity. How and why do these happy little special lucky things happen to me of all people?
Im just a basic ass bitch who used to want to fight everyone and get way sloppy drunk every night and teased my hair too big to now having days where anxiety rules my every thought and I have to turn around and go back home to make sure I turned off the coffee pot. I also now have times where I can’t go 20 minutes without wiping someones butt or whipping my tit out to feed my baby. Many days I think, shit, did I brush my teeth? Sure, I can wear the same leggings again because fuck it, right?
My oh my how times change! I feel lucky to call this messy life mine, and when I squint and blur my vision just right, I see so many instances of the universe sending me those beautiful VIBEZ.
Im not sure exactly why I’m here, with a desire to write it all out, I’m actually a semi-private person on the internet so this is weird. I love to create and craft and let my mind wander without fear of fucking it up. Ive never crafted with words before, but I’m pretty excited to see where we go. I have alot of stuff up in this dome piece that I am sure I will benefit from getting out.
I often joke with my fiance’ about being stuck permanently in my head. Like, if you think I’m annoying- how the fuck do you think I feel? I mean, I’m stuck in here all the time with little relief.
The phenomenon of serendipity interests me, and has ever since I saw it on pinterest. It makes me feel special and that as long as I’m actively remaining open to new ideas and experiences, then really great, even amazing things can happen to me too. It is my hope to share these experiences with you, so that you in turn, will share yours with me.